Mindy Reflection #23

September 28, 2016

 

The left side of my face is aging faster than the right. It’s like getting a preview of coming attractions. Can I look at the left side without recoiling? Can I embrace the aging process? Someone is stealing my eyebrows while I’m sleeping, who would commit such a crime? And why do the remaining eyebrow hairs now want to grow in opposing directions? I can not tame them; I can not stop them from being who they’re becoming now. If you are young, stop reading this and take a selfie. Enjoy the vitality and beauty of your youth, it is your time to shine. Can I still shine with wrinkles? Am I brave enough to not hide from the group photo? And how close do you need to get with that camera? Of course, I could take many actions to alter or delay the inevitability of my decline. I’m not sure who I would be doing that for? Is it for me? Or to confuse you? “She looks so young, but I heard she was in the National Woman’s Party in 1916?” Honestly, I’m kind of intrigued by this new old me. I don’t want to deny the changes I’m going through; I want to embrace them. I’m also afraid of the domino effect, change one thing and forty more are waiting to be fixed. I’m amazed that I have lived this long. What a luxury to grow old. I don’t want to be young again, it was so exhausting. I want to love older me. I want to celebrate every line on my face. When I was young I used to worry about frown lines, now that I’m older, I don’t even notice them. What I see now is laugh lines. A lot of laugh lines. That makes me smile, which now just gave me a few more lines. I want to embrace who I am now. I want to see the beauty of me now. I’m not there yet, but I know one day I will celebrate, and not judge the new old me.

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