Mindy Reflection #55

December 5, 2016

 

Recently, I heard the sounds of an animal trapped in my wall. He was not making soft crying sounds for help, or remorseful sounds of despair over having made a wrong turn up the pipes, they were the sounds of entitlement. He was aggressively gnashing his teeth and scratching furiously inside my walls. At first I was scared and then I was annoyed. No one likes an uninvited house guest. What bothered me the most is that I couldn’t see the face of my enemy. Were his loud noises an indication of the threat level to my safety? How do you deal with an intruder you can’t see but know is lurking? I thought about getting a hammer and making holes in the wall so I could face the unknown fears that awaited me. My first thoughts of action are usually my most destructive thoughts. I knocked on the wall a few times to let him know that I was tracking him. If he attempted a coup, I would not surrender meekly. I checked for possible openings around my sanctuary, and timidly peaked inside a few closets. It was late at night, and I wanted to go to sleep. I realized there was nothing to do but hope that he didn’t break through the wall, and instead maybe he would find his way out and into someone else’s crawl space. I cannot fight an invisible threat that I can only hear but can’t see. I am no coward, but I’ve learned that when you have experienced real life traumas, you tend to conserve your energy for the upcoming battle ahead. What I imagined hiding in the wall was just a noise but until that noise makes a move, there is no action for me to take. The lurking demon eventually went away, and once I started to believe I would never hear from him again, he came back once more. On his second visit he made more threatening noises but took no actions. Do I want him there? No. Will he come back again? Who knows. Is he a real threat? Only time will tell. I recently took my “Mother of Dragons” warrior garb to the dry cleaners on the chance that whatever the imagined threat might be, I’d have an outfit to wear for the battle. Sometimes we are required to take actions to insure our freedoms, and the freedoms of others. I’ll never give up on the belief that one day we will have the power to push this planet to a higher plane of healing, consciousness, and oneness. I will never give up hope and I will continue to pray for the promise of tomorrow.

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