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Mindy Reflection #26

Are you afraid? Me too. I’m afraid of spiders I haven’t seen yet, who might appear at any moment. When I’m feeling relaxed, and pleasantly entertained by something I’m doing, it will occur to me that there might be a spider crawling on a wall behind me. I whip my head around preparing to be terrified. It doesn’t matter if there is or isn’t a spider lurking, what matters is that I created a horror story. I removed myself from a place of being pleasantly entertained, to scare myself to death. I am the creator of the monster under the bed. I was recently told that the hinges on my eye glasses were weak and would break at some point. I was not told when that would be. I find myself wasting a lot of time worrying about it. Will it happen on a day when I need to see? When it does happen, I will deal with it. When life happens I will deal with it. The scary story is just a ridiculous preparation for things that never unfold. My mind believes that if I imagine it beforehand, I will not be stunned when it happens. Sadly, the things I imagined never happened. The preparation was a waste of time. The things I forgot to worry about were the one’s waiting for me. That’s just how life unfolds sometimes. I choose to stop the storytelling in my head, and to live in the unfolding story of this day. I refuse to let my mind take away the beauty of this day.

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