Mindy Reflection #37
What are you focused on? Does it take over your thoughts day and night? Is it worth your time and energy? Maybe it is, I used to think it was too. I stepped onto the gerbil wheel of life and went round and round seeking the prize at the end of the journey. I don’t have a gerbil or a wheel, but I think there isn’t a prize, just the motion of pursuit. Round and round he goes, is the gerbil really going anywhere or is he just lost in the wheel? Are the things we long for worth longing for? Does what we pursue change as we change, or when our circumstances change, don’t we change too? If you put me in the desert won’t my heart's desire be for a glass of water? I find it interesting the amount of tears I’ve shed over wanting, and needing certain things to happen to make me feel good, valued, and successful. I feel all those things now as I drink my water. It’s fun to be on the wheel, it feels like such an accomplishment to make all that effort. It’s also a great conversational tool when at a party someone asks you what you’re doing with your life? In the past I would say with confidence, “I’m going round and round on a gerbil wheel, making a big drama over things I probably won’t care about tomorrow.” The truth is people find that comforting. Nobody wants to be the only one on that wheel. If you ask me the question today I’d say, “I’m off the wheel and I’m letting the energy of the universe guide my thoughts and actions.” Trust me, that will never get a great response. At the most, I’m lucky to get a blank stare and pity. I’m sure they’re thinking, “Poor Mindy, if she’d just stayed on that wheel a little longer, she’d have gotten the prize.” I’ve learned that I already have the prize, for me it was never on the wheel. Whatever your choices, just know that they are important because you think they are. If you change what you think, that also changes its importance. No judgment, we all take a ride on that wheel at some point in our lives. The magical moment for me was when I realized I could stop the ride.