Mindy Reflection #39

I love fake gambling. Slot machines are my favorite form of distraction. Fake gambling means I don’t add any real money to my bank account, but I also don’t lose any money. It’s a harmless kind of fun that sometimes drives me crazy. If I get a big win I feel on top of the world. If I go broke I feel the fates are against me. When I lose it feels ridiculously personal, even though it’s not personal at all. The slot machine doesn’t know it’s Mindy looking for a win. The machine also doesn’t have a vendetta against me, but it can sometimes feel that way. What amazes me about this mindless pastime is that I experience all the wins and losses as if they are real. My mind knows I’m not really winning and losing any money, but it triggers in me the same sensations a real gambling experience would. My mind can create whatever sensations I desire. What will I do with this gift? Will I use it to help me get through the day or will I use it to torture myself? Let’s say I decide my life is cursed because of a situation I can’t control. The message gets sent and the response gets triggered. I instantly feel miserable. I walk around with my head down and wear an appropriately cursed expression on my face. Like the fake emotions I experience when I gamble, I have just triggered a fake reality, but it feels real. If I tell myself I am blessed, you will see the effect of that message emanate throughout my spirit and body. I might even emit a glowing light. It’s all about how I want to interpret my reality, and the messages I want to send. If I am experiencing a fake or real loss, I can suffer it less if I can send the right messages. Whatever the circumstance, if I can create a shift inside me, I can alter my experience. My thoughts won’t remove my challenges but the right triggering of my emotions will help to give me the strength I need to survive them. Today I choose to feel like a winner in the game of life.