Mindy Reflection #60
I thought I was done. I always think I’m done. This is the problem that often occurs when you are a reluctant participant in the game of life. I try to refrain from making broad global statements about what I will and will not do, because I am continually proved wrong in my assessment of future activities. It doesn’t really matter what aspect of life I’m talking about; I am consistently unprejudiced in my declarations of upcoming expiration dates. I sometimes imagine my deceased ancestors sitting around in my grandmother’s kitchen in heaven, laughing their asses off as they watch the “Mindy Show”. At first that thought hurt my feelings, but upon reflection I understood how ridiculously entertaining I must seem when viewed from above. If you agree to an earth adventure, why resist it? If you are here for the long game, why put a limit on your contribution? I once heard a philanthropic man ask himself this question, “Did I do enough?” It stopped me in my tracks. I was stunned because I realized I had never asked that of myself. My questions usually have a more pathetic whiny tone to them: “When will this unbearably long life be over? What more could you possibly want me to do? Haven’t I done enough?” Of course my responses embarrass me and also seem to be the fodder for angelic mirth. I’ve discovered that my contribution and participation to you and to life are the experiences I treasure the most. Even though I occasionally have snail-like enthusiasm and lose interest too quickly and habitually want to terminate prematurely, somehow the activity of life continues to flow through me anyway. There is a light and a purpose within us all that demands to be brought forth out into the universe. I cannot stop it; I cannot control it because I didn’t create it. It exists regardless of my awareness of its significance. It lives through me and will live long after me. It is the vibrational imprint I will leave behind on the earth and send up into the ethers. You cannot see it but the power of it exists beyond comprehension. I might never fully understand and appreciate the magnificence of our soulful contributions, but even a reluctant slug like me is awed by the force that vibrates through us all. Today I will not let my nature dim the brilliance of my journey.