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Mindy Reflection #62

When my mother was still alive, every New Year’s Eve after wishing each other all the best in the upcoming year, my mother would declare with confidence that this was going to be “my year!” I drank the mother Kool-Aid and set about trying to make my dreams and her dreams for me a reality. Needless to say, by the end of the year I had missed the mark. So on the next New Year’s Eve, she once again declared that it was going to be “my year!” In all honesty, I know she said the exact same words to my four siblings. Was it going to be “my year!” for all of her children? Or was she just hedging her bets? And when she said “my year” was she really just talking about herself, as we were all narcissistic reflections of her? The truth is maybe she was, as she always felt deeply, as most mothers do, every loss and win of her children’s journey. It is also possible that she loved life despite its twist and turns. She was a player at heart and loved being in the game and rolling the dice. Upon reflection, her words resonate for me as I get ready to tell myself that it’s going to be “my year!” In fact, every year I’m alive has been a tremendous gift regardless of my perceived difficulties, because I was able to walk through my fears and kept walking forward on the path that was in front of me. I sometimes pretend to give myself imaginary awards for showing up for life. In the “Mindy Olympics” there are gold medals for going to the market, paying bills, showing up for scary doctor appointments, and having a good attitude when life doesn’t go my way. It takes a lot of effort to complete a full year of being present and taking care of oneself. So needless to say, I have an abundance of imaginary medals. In the upcoming year ahead, let me be the first to declare with confidence that this will be “your year!” I always feel blessed to get to play the game of life. What an honor to be in physical form and have so many opportunities to grow spiritually. I never know what will unfold, but I believe it will be my best year ever! With love and blessings I wish you the same.

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